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The 15 Different Kinds of Penises You’ll Probably (Definitely) Encounter In Life
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The 15 Different Kinds of Penises You’ll Probably (Definitely) Encounter In Life 

Penises are like snowflakes: None are exactly the same, but they sure are pretty. (Jk jk LOL on that last part.) But how many types of penises are there, really? Well, a lot more than the聽scope of emojis聽would suggest.

Experts narrowed down the breadth of boners to 14 main types. Here’s what you need to know about each 鈥 plus your move to monopolise on that D. (You’re welcome…)

1. Circumcised Penises

Description:聽The skin covering the penis (a.k.a. the foreskin) has been removed, generally in the infancy phase of life (thank g).

Real talk:聽鈥淭his is the most common kind of penis in the United States: 鈥淎bout 90 percent of men over 20 are circumcised,鈥 says Dr Joseph Alukal, an associate professor of urology at Columbia University Medical Center.

Your move:聽Previous research has found that circumcised penises can be less sensitive than circumcised ones (since they don’t have the nerve-covered foreskin). But since you鈥檙e probably used to this kind of penis anyway, just proceed as per usual.

2. Uncircumcised Penises

Description:聽Simply put,聽the foreskin is left intact. It’s generally a cultural (region, religion, tradition, etc.) thing.

Real talk:聽Uncircumcised聽men have to work a bit harder to keep it clean down there since bacteria can get trapped in the extra skin.

Your move:聽As the penis goes from flaccid to erect, it helps to roll back the foreskin to stimulate him more. But the head area can also be super sensitive, so start gentle, and continuously ask him what feels good, says Dr Holly Richmond, a sex therapist with practices in New Jersey, L.A., and Portland, Oregon.

3. Growers

Description:聽You know these guys well: Penises that are larger when hard compared to when they’re flaccid AF.

Real talk:聽An international聽Men’s Health聽survey found that 79 percent of men have growers.

Your move:聽During聽foreplay, wrap your fingers around the base of his penis firmly. This makes him harder and (at least in theory) helps him hit his full-size potential. (And if nothing else, it can help delay his orgasm so you both can enjoy sex longer.)

4. Show-ers

Description:聽Penises that stay more or less the same size whether they’re ready to go or flaccid. (See also: Jon Hamm.)

Real talk:聽鈥淣o one knows why certain penises function so differently,鈥 says Dr Alukal. But according to that same聽Men’s Health聽survey, 21 percent of men are the proud owners of show-ers.

Your move:聽If you’re impressed by his manhood the second you see it, say so 鈥 he’ll definitely appreciate the compliment. But also: Watch out for that BDE.

5. Curved Penises

Description:聽When erect, his penis bends slightly (or majorly) to one side or the other.

Real talk:聽His manhood will seem pretty straight when it’s just chilling 鈥 it’s only when he gets hard that the curve appears.

Your move:聽Look at his, uh, “quirk” as an unexpected sexy advantage.聽鈥淓xperiment and be communicative with your partner,鈥 says sex and couples therapist Dr Ian Kerner, author of聽She Comes First.聽Try as many new positions as you can to get a better idea of what feels best for both of you.

6. Small Penises

Description:聽To actually be considered medically small, “a penis has to be two standard deviations less than the average [five inches] 鈥 meaning it鈥檚 just over three inches long when erect,鈥 says Dr Alukal. Outside the doctor’s office, ladies call this a “micropenis.” Luckily, they’re pretty rare 鈥 but a small penis can be anything that seems tinier relative to other Ds you’ve seen.

Real talk:聽Length is one thing, but researchers haven鈥檛 measured girth (a.k.a. width) yet in any formal way, so there aren鈥檛 any established numbers floating around out for that average, says Dr. Alukal. But lots of women agree that girth matters more than length.

Your move:聽To feel more of him when he’s working with less, try the coital alignment technique (CAT): Have his pelvic bone press directly against your clit during penetration.

7. Big Penises

Description:聽Manhoods that are seven inches long or more when erect, which is about two standard deviations longer than the average of five, qualify for the eggplant (versus carrot) emoji.

Real talk:聽It’s basically impossible for a penis to be so big that it’s physically incapable of fitting inside you, experts agree.

Your move:聽Make sure you’re extra lubricated, and spend plenty of time on foreplay to ease into actual P-in-the-V action. And maybe avoid girl-on-top positions if he feels like too much inside you.

8. Unpredictable Penises

Description:聽These guys聽don’t always get hard 鈥 or stay hard 鈥 when they should.

Real talk:聽鈥淎bout 40 percent of men have penises that don鈥檛 always function as they should,鈥 says Dr Alukal. What鈥檚 more, an unpredictable penis could actually be an indicator of a greater health problem.

Your move:聽If your man has penile difficulties, the most important thing you can do is be supportive. But don鈥檛 say something like, 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay, I don鈥檛 care,鈥 because you do…and he knows it. Instead say, “We’ll figure this out together,” and then actually follow through 鈥 by helping him schedule a doctor’s appointment, says Dr Alukal.

That way, he鈥檒l know that you鈥檙e there for him鈥攁nd that you want it to work just as much as he does.

9. Emotionally Sensitive Penises

Description:聽This type of ESP is a penis that loses its erection due to embarrassment, shameful associations, social anxiety around sex, or other mental hangups.

Real talk:聽An inability to get or stay hard could be a sign that he’s not not feeling great psychologically about what’s going down (perhaps he realizes you have stronger feelings for him than he does for you), Richmond explains. Or it could mean the opposite: He’s so into you, he feels too much pressure to perform well.

Your move:聽Outside the bedroom (in a safe space/when neither of you are naked and vulnerable), have a conversation to make sure you’re both on the same page about everything. Miscommunication and assumed expectations can be major buzzkills.

10. Smooth Penises

Description:聽Have you ever seen a dick so smooth, it could have been carved from marble? That’s what I’m talking about here.

Real talk:聽A smooth penis can feel better and more natural in your mouth for oral sex. Or if you’re a virgin (praise you), entry should be smoother and more comfortable, Richmond says.

Your move:聽If you feel understimulated during penetrative sex with this type of penis, try adding a聽cock ring聽or even just a ribbed condom (the little dots make for more sensation).

11. Veiny Penises

Description:聽Some johnsons have very, er, accentuated anatomy when they’re hard 鈥 as in, their veins are not only visible but also definitely noticeable physically during sex.

Real talk:聽Two things generally affect a man’s veiny-ness: genetics and muscle. (Typically, guys who work out more have more pronounced dick veins.) His veins might just be closer to the skin and not necessarily bigger, but same diff in the end.

Your move:聽The extra texture can feel really awesome for many vaginas, so don’t be put off by the looks of it.

12. Darker Penises

Description:聽No, I’m not talking race here. I mean penises whose skin is darker than the skin on the rest of the man’s body.

Real talk:聽Perhaps your vulva is a little darker in colour than the rest of your skin? In both cases, it’s just a matter of pigmentation and melanin.

Your move:聽The colour of his cock has zero bearing on his form or function, says Richmond. So try not to let it bother you at all, and don’t call attention to it (trust me, he knows). “Never shame the penis,” she adds. “That won’t go over well.”

13. Freckled Penises

Description:聽Like darker-hued dicks, a freckled penis is a special type with distinctive freckles or birthmarks.

Real talk:聽Again, skin colouration has nothing to do with what he’s actually working with鈥攊t’s purely aesthetic, notes Richmond. That said, freckles and birthmarks could be other things鈥攍ike聽STIs聽or skin cancer鈥攊n disguise…

Your move:聽If your with a new partner, definitely have a talk about safety, and always, always use condoms if you’re not sure (request the test results, girl). For established partners, if you notice spots, marks, or growths that weren’t there before, ask your dude to get checked out. For STIs, yes, but also cancer.

14. Hairy Penises

Description:聽Whether he’s lazy, didn’t expect to be getting laid, or just prefers to go au naturel (not judging!), this type of penis has a little to a lot of pubes around its base and ball area.

Real talk:聽Pubic hair has a purpose, says Richmond. It keeps germs and bacteria, plus holds/emits scents that attract you to your partner (called pheromones).

Your move:聽If his hair bugs you, don’t beat around the bush (heh). In a non-shaming way, ask him for a compromise, saying something like, “Hey, maybe we can trim this a little so I don’t chafe/it’s more comfortable for me?” (Giving him a reason to shave helps encourage him to do so.)

For oral, feel free to gently push his pubes down with one hand, because having to a little spiral-y strand off your tongue isn’t exactly fun.

15. Shaved Penises

Description:聽Some men prefer to manscape, keeping either their entire genital area hairless or just trimmed into something less…barbaric.

Real talk:聽Even though pubic hair helps keep germs away, there’s nothing dangerous about a shaved penis, Richmond says.

Your move:聽Enjoy the view. “You get a clear look at everything 鈥 his entire shaft, his balls, his anus, his perineum, everything 鈥 so take your time to explore and experiment with what feels good for him, and by association, you,” Richmond says.

And rub on some聽lubricant: “Lube on smooth skin is even more slippery, which can feel amazing when he’s super hard,” Richmond explains. Mmm.

This article was originally published on Sex & Relationship.

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