Oh, so you want to mix things up the bedroom, huh? I see you. Sure, you could take the time to test out the many, many gasp-inducing, sweaty, kinky, raunchy positions out there, but youâd probably need to eat and sleep at some point, so… for the sake of time, let me introduce you to a primo sex-nique: scissoring.
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Yep, you’ve probably heard of it, and most likely in regard to girl-on-girl action. The sex position-slash-method is often considered the (really, a) go-to way for queer women to have sex, but it’s definitely not the only way they can. Nor is it an off-limits move for anyone else who wants get it on.
“Scissoring allows for a very intimate connection,” says Dr Peter Kanaris, psychologist and sex therapist. “The genital-to-genital contact is very arousing and can enhance not only the physical pleasure, but the emotional arousal as well.”
Scissoring is also a unique and exciting position that you and your partner(s) of any gender or orientation can manipulate any way you want so that it feels new every single time. So boring sex? Buh-bye.
Here’s everything to know about what scissoring is and how to do it:
1. Scissoring is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.
While scissoring might be new to you, thereâs actually nothing new about the move, says Kanaris.
The position requires that you and your partner lie on your sides and intertwine your legs like two pairs of opened scissors coming together and meeting in the middle. Youâll know youâre in position when your genitals touch. Then, with a little (a lot, actually) grinding and rubbing up against your partner, youâll well on your way to O Town.
2. You don’t have to lie down to scissor, per se.
The skyâs the limit when it comes to scissoring and its many adaptations. Once youâve got the basic lying-down set-up down, you can take things up a notch.
âScissoring can be done in any number of other positions,â says Kanaris. It can be asynchronous, meaning you might lie still while your partner rubs up against you, or you rub up against them while they stay put.
Other times, the grinding might not even take place in between your legs at all. Instead, Kanaris says you could sit on your partnerâs lap and rub against their thigh or straddle their torso and rub yourself against their chest. Yup, as long as your legs are, well, split, and you’re swivelling your hips and/or you’re grinding, that’s scissoring.
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3. Scissoring is perfect for “outercourse”.
Ever heard of it? Outercourse is when your partner’s genitals (usually, in this case, a penis since it’s an external organ) “rests against the genitalia, without penetration,” Kanaris explains.
âThen, with gentle movement and a gradual increase in pressure,â you and your partner can get it on in a whole new way.
4. But it can also involve penetration.
Scissoring doesn’t mean that you can’t have penetrative funâwhether it’s a finger, toy or penis you want in your vagina, there’s absolutely no reason to leave it out.
In fact, the beauty of scissoring, unlike the sometimes rushed brand of sex that can comes with typical thrusting, is that it forces you and your partner to slow things down, Kanaris says. So while you get the stimulation of having a body part or sex toy inside you, you also get the arousal of building intimacy.
5. Scissoring invites different muscles to the party.
If this position and technique isnât something youâre used to, the new angle will force you to engage different leg and thigh muscles and rely on new gestures so that you and your partner can discover new ways to climax.
See how many times “new” showed up in that sentence? That can make sex even more pleasurable, Kanaris promises.
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6. You might want to stretch a bit before scissoring.
On that note, if this is your first go, congrats⊠but also: Make sure to stretch, because those muscles need a little warm-up.
When scissoring, your glutes and thighs are going to be working overtime, and if youâre not loose and limber, thereâs a good chance youâll cramp up, Kanaris warns. If it happens, no biggie… but it’s not exactly fun and sexy, and that’s what you’re going for here.
7. Scissoring doesn’t have to happen naked.
When penetration isnât what youâre afterâtonight or everâscissoring opens up the possibility for dry humpingâwhich makes for really hot foreplay and can even sub for actual sex.
8. You can have a different scissoring experience every time.
If all of the above hasn’t made this clear yet, here’s this: âWith a little imagination, intimate communication and experimentation,â says Kanaris, scissoring can feel like a new move every time you and your partner go for it.
Describe your fantasy to your partner, ask them what would make them feel good, then test it out. Sure, every variation of scissoring wonât necessarily feel as good as the lastâyou might even knee your partner on occasionâbut itâs this kind of sexcapade that’ll keep the heat between the sheets.
9. You should probably bring lube.
Scissoring adds a lot of friction between legs and genitals, and chafing puts a huge damper on an orgasm. Using a little bit of lube can help prevent any raw rubbing (ouch)âand lube just makes sexing better.
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10. You still need to use protection.
Of course, if you’re hooking up with a woman and STIs aren’t a concern (as in, you’ve both been tested), then this isn’t so much of a concern. But if you’re scissoring with a guyâand/or with a new partnerâKanaris says to make sure you use condoms (or dental dams). Some STIs can be spread by skin-to-skin contact (yes, even without penetration).
11. Let scissoring be whatever it means to you.
Like any sex act, scissoring doesn’t need to be a defined, black-and-white item that you check off on a to-do list. Scissoring can look and feel however you want it to, so forget any expectations.
âDonât get too hung up on, âOh, am I doing it right?ââ Kanaris says. âWhat is right is you and your partner having an enjoyable experience thatâs fun and thatâs safe.â Preach.
This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com
Womenâs Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.
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